I believe an introduction is in order…

Hello there,

I am Taffy. Is that my real name? Probably not but that’s besides the point. Currently I am sitting on my couch writing this debating on whether to censor my posts or just let my profanity flag fly. I think I’ll keep it tucked away for now. I am a mom (*gasp: how does she have the time to sit and write a blog post?) I pawned him off on grandpa that’s how! So yes, I am a momma and boy oh boy how things have changed since the birth of my son but there WILL be more on that later. I am a wife, that’s how I got the kid, and my husband is currently deployed. He has been for several months now. I know what you’re thinking….(*sigh) I have not had sex in a LONG time. TMI? Nope! This blog contains sex stuff so be prepared. And YES I have a lot of pent up frustration and envy for those of you who are getting jiggy with it. Just kidding. No I’m not but I am also happy for you and cheer you on from deep deep down. So many conflicting emotions. More about me…I have a sketchy past, think of it as Shameless meets Homeward Bound. If you have not seen either of those well then that comparison will fly right over your noggin. In a nutshell it contains lots of dysfunction, a long journey to finally finding my forever family and still dealing with the shady blood relatives. You will also be hearing more about them, I’m certain. Moving on, I live in England but am currently taking an extended vacation in good ‘ole Florida due to the new mom gig, deployment and the internal panic of trying to raise a wee one alone in a foreign country. Therefore, in-laws to the rescue! Thankfully, I can say these months without my husband have not been all that bad, turns out vibrators are in fact an acceptable stand in. That’s if you can live without physical contact, and over time develop this weird aversion to hugs and anyone who gets within a foot of your radius causes you to panic, turn around and start talking to the wall…So maybe vibrators only work for so long. PSA: Vibrator Speeds – Stay away from the third setting, unless you intend on permanently traumatizing your nether regions. On that note welcome friends. I hope you can relate in some way and if not at least crack a laugh or two as I venture into motherhood, military wifedom and this crazy little thing called life.

With much love and gratitude,

Taffy

 

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